Water and Regret
by todream
Summary: Jacob, Angela, & a wedding. Jacob spends the ceremony thinking about the times he spent with Angela & tries to deal with a future filled with regret. AH. Rec'd on The Perv Pack Smut Shack; WINNER of the Quileute Re-Pair Challenge


"**QUILEUTE ~ Re-Pair ~ CHALLENGE" Entry**

**Title: Water and Regret**

**Pen name: todream**

**Genre: Romance/General**

**Summary: **

**Jacob, Angela, and a wedding. Jacob spends the ceremony thinking about the times he spent with Angela and tries to deal with a future filled with regret.**

**If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this challenge visit **

**http:www(DOT)fanfiction(DOT).net/community/QUILEUTE_re-pair_CHALLENGE/74774**

**To use the above url replace the (DOT) with the real thing.**

**DISCLAIMER**

**I don't own a thing that SM created. I just like to play with them.**

**--**--**

I look out across the crowd, stuffed shoulder to shoulder, in the pews of the church. I can't help but stare at the bride, who just made her way down the aisle. She is wearing a huge, white wedding gown. I remeber last night and think to myself that technically, she is able to wear that color.

I chastise myself for thinking such thoughts. I don't know why my mind keeps traveling to mundane, trivial things like old wedding traditions while I stand up here in front of everyone. I guess I'm trying to stifle the nervousness that today brings.

A little guilt shoots through me, but only a little. I do not regret what happened last night. If faced with the same circumstances, I would do it again. I only regret that I acted on my feelings a little too late.

I took my forefinger and tried to loosen the tight collar around my neck. _Damn tuxedo!_ I hate being dressed up like this, looking like a penguin in front of the family and friends.

"Who gives this woman away to be married?" I hear the preacher say.

"Her mother and I do," the father-of-the-bride responds.

Immediately my mind drifts back to when we were kids, and she was just Mike's annoying little sister...

--**--

"Guys, wait up for me! Slow down," Angela yelled at us from behind. For as long as we could remember, she would tag along with us everywhere we went. Only three years younger than I, she seemed too young to be hanging out with tough guys like us.

The whole gang of us, Mike, Embry, Jared, Ben, Quil, and Sam, sprinted as fast as we could to the river bank, our favorite swimming hole in the summer. It was always a contest to see who would make it there first.

"Jacob, please slow down. I can't keep up," she pleaded. I could hear her behind me. I was twelve and a big shot in my own mind, and I didn't need this little girl stopping me from being the one to dive in head first and be the winner...yet again. I would get ribbed to no end for being a softie, and I couldn't risk the embarrassment with my friends.

Then I heard it. The sound that made me stop and look at her.

She began to cry.

_Dang it!_ I said to myself. I hated it when girls cried, especially her. I knew I would catch hell for what I was about to do, but I would bear it because I didn't want her to be sad.

"Come on, Angela. I'll jump in with you," I called out to her.

She immediately beamed a smile that caused a hitch in my breathing. I remember feeling a little funny in my gut, but I was too young to know why. I still hadn't discovered girls yet and had no clue that this wouldn't be the last time she made me feel this way.

She placed her small hand in mind, and she tightened her fingers in my grasp.

"One, two, three, go!" she yelled as we took a running head start.

For some reason, I didn't let go of her hand the entire time we were in the air, and I held on tightly as we came up to the surface.

I pulled her up when I reached the air first, not wanting her to be underwater too long.

She let out that smile again when her face came out of the water, and I remember my gut did that flip again...

--**--

My eyes focus again on the beautiful bride. She steals a glance at me, and I notice the pink rising to the surface of her skin when our eyes meet. Her strapless gown looks good on her...too good. I can't describe the dress anymore than that. Guys aren't supposed to know those kinds of things. I just know that it fits her well and clings to her beautiful curves. I can't help but stare at her breasts in the vast expanses of the white material. I know it's cliché for me to do so, but I am a man, after all.

I find myself daydreaming about her again, and I can't stop myself...

...I begin to think about spring break five years ago. The guys and I decided we needed to blow off steam and head to the warm beaches of Florida. We heard the drinks flowed freely, and the girls wore next to nothing. It sounded like heaven to all of us. Those beaches would be a much needed change of pace from our usual hang out, First Beach.

We pooled all our money together and had just enough for gas, food, and a roach-motel room. We drove for two days straight to get there, but we knew being crammed together in Embry's boat of a car would be worth it once we got there.

I was never so happy to get out of a car. When we did, we all piled out like we were circus clowns and found our toes sinking into the sand. It felt different than the sand on First Beach, it was a much finer grain that felt warm on my feet. I breathed in the fresh air because being cooped up with a group of guys for two days gets disgusting after a while.

I saw my first set of college girls in their skimpy bikinis, and I knew this was going to be a great trip.

That night, after spending the day drinking beer and surfing, we cleaned up enough to head to a local club. We were all looking to hook up with someone that night, so we actually showered, shaved, and combed our hair. Some of us even splashed the communal cologne that Sam had brought along. He was older than all of us, therefore we thought he was wiser. Girls must dig the cologne.

We all sauntered down the sidewalk to the club, smelling like a walking advertisement for Brute. We all felt like we were kings of the world, acting like cocky sons-a-bitches. We walked into that club thinking that we owned the place.

As we paid our money and got the stamps that said I-am-twenty-one-and-allowed-to-get-shit-faced, Embry noticed a huge sign glowing in the dark.

"No way! There's a wet t-shirt contest tonight, boys. I can't believe our luck!" he called out to everyone.

After exchanging a few high fives, we walked to the bar, trying to scope out any girl that we would try and make out with tonight. I saw a few girls, but most of them were already so drunk that it wasn't even fun. I may have been looking to hook up, but I wanted to find someone who would be able to remember that she was with me willingly.

For the next hour, we pretty much drank like fish and danced with any gorgeous girls we could find. We were young and knew that times like this would start to happen fewer and far between. We were all getting older, starting our jobs or attending college. Soon we would be middle-aged men, married with kids. All of us wanted this trip to go down in history.

I thought I wanted to find some random girl and have one night of no-strings-attached fun, but little did I know that she would change those plans for me.

"Gentlemen! It's the show you've all been waiting for. Club Baja's Annual Spring Break Wet T-Shirt Contest. We only have the best of the best in here fellas, so sit back and enjoy the show!" the booming voice called out over the loud speaker.

Sam had saved us a spot close to the stage, and we all piled around him, hoping not to miss anything. None of us had ever experienced anything like this before. Living out in La Push sheltered us from a wild night life. We were ready to soak in the grandeur of scantily clad wet, women.

I stood where I could see the contestants lining up back stage, and I elbowed Quil when I noticed the girls. They stood in a single file line, and each one of them kept adjusting their hair, bikini bottoms, or any other thing that prepared them to go on stage. We ogled the beautiful girls that we didn't see much of in Washington. We had attractive girls back home, but down here in Florida, they wore way less clothing.

Quil turned to take a drink, and that's when I saw her, and my mind started to panic.

Angela was in line with all the girls ready to show her goods to the world. I watched as she ran her fingers along her bikini bottoms, getting them adjusted just right. I stood there stunned at her standing there wearing next to nothing. She looked older and more grown up.

I had seen her in her bikini before, but I didn't notice how much her body had filled out until now. Seeing her in this setting made my mind turn to pure mush, thinking filthy thoughts. I soon realized that if I thought about her in such a way, then what would every guy out in the club think when they saw her? There was no way that I was going to let her go on stage, much less get sprayed with water. She wasn't that kind of girl.

"I'll be right back," I yelled to Quil over the loud music.

"Dude, you'll miss the show," he hollered back.

"Don't worry about me." Before I could think about what Quil thought of my disappearance, I found my way behind the scenes and next to Angela.

"Hey, watch it!" she yelled as I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of line.

"What are you doing, Jacob? You need to let go of me. I am going to miss the contest," she said glaring at me.

"What the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be home...with your parents," I said loudly.

"My friends and I decided that you guys shouldn't have all the fun over spring break. We made up some story, the parents bought it, and here we are!" she said proudly.

"How did you even get in here? You're not even eighteen yet, Angela." I questioned her. She was too young and naive to be out her with all these drunk, horny guys running around. Myself included.

"Please, Jacob! I'll be eighteen in two months, and it's so easy now to get a fake ID. My fake name is Bonnie Holcomb, and I am twenty-one, thank you very much...now, if you will excuse me, I have a contest to win. I would love to get the $500 prize."

She turned to leave, but I stopped her again. I pulled her to me and, without thinking, made her fall into my arms. I wrapped them around her and watched her brown eyes look up to me with a shocked expression. She didn't try and leave this time.

"Angela, I can't have you do this," I whispered to her, placing my lips on her hair. Suddenly every girl in the bar that I thought I wanted had disappeared, and Angela was the only one I could see. She smelled like the coconut oil that girls put on their skin to get a tan. I never had to put on the stuff; I had a permanent tan year round.

"Jacob Black, you don't own me, and I am old enough to make my own decisions." She sounded defiant, but she still didn't move. I could hear the hoots and hollers coming from the main area, signaling that the contest had already begun.

"I have known you all your life and know you'll regret doing something crazy like this. Besides, your brother is out there, and I don't want him to crash the stage dragging you off there by your hair...you're not that kind of girl, Angela," I whispered.

"Then what kind of girl am I? What kind of girl do I need to be to get noticed by you...I mean, the guys?" she asked. Her hands had wrapped around my back, clinching my t-shirt in her grip, sending tingling sensations all over from just her touch.

"You're the kind of girl that any guy would be lucky to have. You don't have to reduce yourself to this kind of thing to get noticed. Believe me, all that's good for is a one-night stand. It would never lead into a relationship."

"You mean, a guy like you would like a girl like me," her voice cracked a bit, and her hand kneaded my back a little more. She looked up at me and floored me with the look she gave.

I soon became consumed by the need to kiss her. My arms rested comfortable on the skin of her waist. I had to consciously keep them stuck there, or else my other brain would have me guiding them down over her rear end.

I remembered how one of her hands came from my back and stroked my jaw line. I became acutely aware of her closeness, her scent, her touch, and I wanted to be consumed with her.

She stood on her tip toes and raised her chin up to mine, sensing the change in my demeanor towards her. I licked my lips and bent down towards her, feeling her hand move to my hair. No other girl had ever affected me so much by mere touches.

Why Mike's face popped into my head right before our lips met, I couldn't figure out, but I did know that kissing her would not be the best idea. It felt right, but it would be all wrong. She was too young, and her brother was one of my best friends.

I turned my head from her as soon as I felt her breath on my lips. I can still see the hurtful look of rejection in her eyes.

I have never forgotten that night and have always regretted not kissing her lips...

--**--

I listen as the preacher starts the ceremony. He talks about faith, hope, and love, and how love is the most important one of these gifts. I usually sweat like a whore in church when I, myself, am in the congregation, and today is no exception. The reason I feel this way becomes apparent when my neck begins to burn once he begins preaching about how faithfulness and trust are important building blocks in a marriage. No union would last long without them. _Ouch_! That statement cuts me to my core.

I look to Angela to see if she acknowledges me, but she doesn't. She just stands demurely, listening to the preacher. I then find her hands nervously fiddling with the stems of her bouquet.

I can still feel those fingers on my skin. Suddenly the room gets smaller and hotter...

--**--

I let the guys head out to the bar before me. I wanted to grab some fresh air after the rehearsal dinner and didn't feel like being around people. Tomorrow was a big day for me, which shocked the hell out of me, too. People get married everyday, right?

"Hey, you! What are you still doing out here?" I heard Angela's voice behind me.

I took my eyes off the waves to catch her in the light of the fading fire that had once been blazing during the rehearsal festivities. Her skin glowed in the light. I couldn't tell if the fire had caused her eyes to light up, or if she were just happy to see me.

"I just needed to think a bit. What brings you back here? Shouldn't you be getting ready for tomorrow or whatever it is brides-to-be do?" I asked.

"Oh, I left my shawl somewhere around here. It's my grandmother's. My mom would kill me if I lost it. Have you seen it?" she asked.

"Nope, but I'll help you look." I shot up faster than humanly possible to help her.

It was over by the log she had been sitting on for most of the night. I remembered how she looked earlier and had wished I could be alone with her. Now that I was alone with her, I became nervous.

Instead of handing her the shawl, I gingerly walked behind her and placed it on her bare shoulders. I know I lingered too close to her on the night before the wedding, but I couldn't resist her. The way she looked and smelled reeled me in, and I was a goner.

"Thank you, Jacob," was all she said.

I leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Do you remember swimming out here when we were kids?"

She still had her back to me, and I noticed her shoulders heaving up and down.

"I do. Those were good times. I miss those times."

I knew it was the wrong thing to do it since the ceremony was tomorrow, but I knew that I wanted her.

"How about we do it again tonight...for old time's sake?" I asked her.

She turned to me and found my eyes.

"We shouldn't," she uttered.

"Then let's do it because we want to and not worry about protocol." I did my best to convince her, hoping she'd say yes. "It's just a dip in the water...nothing else. It'll be fun."

I began loosening my tie and then unbuttoned my white, over-starched shirt. I let the clothing fall to the sand. I watched her as I started heading to the shore line, where the waves called our names.

I flashed her my irresistible smile, and I saw her give in.

Her shawl fell to the sand like a ribbon in the wind. She reached her hand to her head and removed the hair pin, releasing her locks that soon cascaded down her shoulders. She slipped off her shoes, and then I noticed her reluctance when she started to take off her dress. I encouraged her by taking off my slacks. I hoped that me being almost naked would ease her mind. It seemed to work.

She smiled in relief and slid her straps down her arms. I was in heaven watching her undress in front of me. They way she took off her clothes mesmerized me. Watching her seductively shimmy her dress down her body looked like a beautifully choreographed dance made only for me. I must have looked like an uncoordinated idiot to her when I took off my clothes.

When the dress fell to her feet, I finally saw the perfection of what hid beneath the black material. Her body called out to me, and I forgot for a moment where I was. When she began moving towards me, my mind kicked into gear. The image of her in her black undergarments would be sealed in my brain forever.

I reached out and took her hand.

"Are you ready? The water should feel good," I said.

"Sure...I can't believe you talked me into this," she said shyly.

"I have a way with words, I guess."

"Yeah. It certainly didn't help when you started to undress in front of me. That kind of view can make a girl change her mind really fast," she said, swinging my arm back and forth like we were kids again.

We didn't say much as we began walking into the ocean, we were just content being alone in a place where we had played together a thousand times growing up.

I could remember thinking that life would be different tomorrow after the ceremony. So many changes were happening, and I wondered if we would be able to hold on to a tiny bit of what we had as kids.

I heard a slight yell before the water stifled it. Angela had dipped below the surface. Fortunately, I still had a tight grip on her hand, and I pulled her up. When she came to the surface, her arms immediately wrapped around me, sending a sudden feeling of warmth in my body.

"I guess there's a hole there. I think I'm going to hang on to you; it's getting a little deep," she said. Her hair had fallen in her face, and I watched as she leaned backwards, dipping her head back into the water. She still hung on to me when she did. Her breasts pointed upwards, and I had to roll my tongue back in my mouth. The water glistened on her skin in the moonlight. She had never looked so beautiful.

She raised back up out of the water.

"I hate for my hair to be in my face," she mentioned casually smiling. I saw that she had caught me staring at her, and her smile faded. Her face had a new look, a look of desire that caused my body to start reacting to her closeness to me. `

My hands twitched at her waist, wanting to explore her body. I tried to refrain but couldn't. Our eyes locked, and her arms tightened their grip on me.

"May I...kiss you, Angela?" I asked quietly. I had wanted to kiss her all day.

She bit her bottom lip and nodded her head yes.

I leaned into her and found her lips and gently kissed them. I parted them with my tongue and went deeper. She tasted sweet, like icing. I loved icing, and I couldn't get enough of her mouth.

I wrapped my arms tighter around her and engulfed her back with my hands. She attacked my mouth with hers, nipping and my lips with her teeth. I let out a moan when she raked her fingers across my back. I pulled her closer to me, and when I did, she lifted her legs and wrapped them around my waist.

It didn't take long for my hardness to find her. I took her rear end in my hands and pushed her hips into me. I heard her gasp when the warmth of her core found me ready for her. Her kisses intensified when the moment our two bodies found one another. She began moving her hips over me, causing me to moan again in her mouth.

I took one of her breasts in my hands and caressed it, noting how soft they felt. I pulled the strap down and lowered the material that covered it. My thumb found her nipple, and I ran it back and forth across it, causing it to harden under my touch. My mouth couldn't fight the desire any longer, and I found my lips sucking on her flesh. I ran my tongue in circles over her nipple. I heard a gentle cry from her when I did and pushed myself into her more.

I wanted to be inside her.

"I need more of you Angela," I told her.

She stopped moving her hips against mine and placed her head in the crook of my neck.

She whispered, "The wedding night." I knew then that being inside her wasn't an option. I let out a sigh of frustration.

That's when I felt her hands move my boxers down enough to release my hardness. I looked at her.

"What are you doing?" I asked. "I thought you wanted to wait until..."

"We can still make each other feel good, can't we? I want to feel your hands on me, Jacob," she said, breathing heavily. How could I say no?

"I can make you feel good," I said and almost died when I felt her soft, hand move up and down my shaft.

"I think I can do the same for you," she said smiling, sensing her touch had brought me pleasure.

As she kept moving her hand over me, I moved my hand to the lace of her panties and slid them to the side. I found her folds and began moving over them with my fingers. I heard an encouraging whimper from her when I did.

"Even in the water, I can feel how wet you are for me," I said, barely able to control myself. I slid two fingers into her, and felt her thrust her hips. She momentarily quit running her hand over me. It looked as if she were getting used to the sensation of my fingers being in her. I brought them out a little and pumped back into her.

"Ohhh," she screamed, and I took her mouth hard with mine.

Her hand soon began pumping me again, and my fingers started fucking her in sync with her movements. My fingers felt her tightness all around them, and I growled a moan when she pushed her bucking hips onto the head of my hardness. The sensation of immense pleasure shot through me, and I plunged my fingers faster and deeper into her. The water flailed around us.

I could hear her breathing become more heavy as her moans began to emanate with every one of those breaths. I could feel my release coming as she pumped me furiously.

I began rubbing her clit with my thumb, needing her to find her release with me. I wanted to come, and I wanted her to come along with me.

Her head flung back and she let out an "Oh, God!" when my fingers caressed her sensitive spot.

It didn't take long for the two of us to reach our climax simultaneously. The water became still again.

She let go of her grip and wrapped her arms around my neck, and I held her rear end, keeping her hips pressed to mine. I don't know how long we stayed out there in the still water not speaking, but we just held on to each other. We both knew that when the sun rose in the morning, a new day would dawn, and this night would have to be forgotten...

--**--

I try not tearing up during the recitation of the vows. All I can hear is her melodic voice vowing to love, honor, and cherish forever.

Forever.

That word hits me in the gut, and I lose my breath. I don't think I can make it through the rest of the vows that sound blasphemous to me.

I stare at her through my blurry vision, wondering how she can say them. I knew right then and there that I had waited too long to tell her my true feelings.

I had missed my chance a long time ago. I should have kissed her at the club and told her that I have loved her ever since we were kids. I shouldn't have pushed my feelings for her down to the back of my heart, denying the inevitable. I had always reasoned that she was the little sister of one of my best friends, and it was wrong to love her.

If I had told her, then we would have been able to spend more than just one night of passion together. I would have had a lifetime with her.

I swallow the lump in my throat and wipe the sweat from my brow. I choke back the vomit I feel forming at the back of my throat. I look away. I can't watch.

"You may now kiss the bride," the preacher says, and I hear the crowd ooh and ahh from the tender moment shared between the bride and groom.

After the kiss, I open my eyes.

"Everyone, I now present Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin Cheney." The congregation erupts in applause. I try to be happy, after all, Ben asked me to be his best man. He was the one who had the nerve to show Angela that he loved her, not me.

Ben and Angela lead the recessional off to live their lives together in happiness.

All that I am left with is our stolen night together and a lifetime of regret.

--**--

Thanks to Zombie's Run This Town for being by beta!

Your comments are much appreciated...just press the little review button!


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